It's kind of funny really. Or not. The way we figured out we were having issues getting pregnant. I mean with my first it was a fluke. My birth control failed due to my doctors decision to give me antibiotics... No one told me the two cancelled the Birth control... And I gotta tell you, that was the best thing to ever happen to me.
But this time was different. We started trying a year ago. Stopped taking birth control and thought hey! it should happen fast... And then it didn't... I wasn't getting my monthly period. I wasn't ovulating. But I figured hey it could be normal. I heard sometimes it takes a few cycles to get everything back on track. I never thought that a "few" cycles would turn into months and months of confusion, frustration, arguments with each other,, questioning God, doubting ourselves... My Obgyn is the same one I have had for 4 years now. He delivered booty. And to see concern on his face, made me even more stressed out... Then as time passed our friends began getting pregnant. Everyone around me seemed to be but I wasn't.
It made me sad. When the we found out that my body wasn't producing the hormone progesterone on its own, I felt broken. I cried. My husband, God bless him, acted out the way he thought i needed, which was to show disappointment in my Dr's plan of action. What he didn't realize is that by showing this disappointment he also showed disappointment in me. I was right along side my dr's plans. I agreed with him. Mushy did not... I cried thinking, this is my fault. Its my body so its my fault...
Its not.
I'll be honest there were moments I wanted to give up. I have fought with my husband over things because we weren't communicating clearly.
And then the day came. I realized that it isn't my fault or his or the doctors. And if God wants us to have another child we will. In his time. I know my post earlier stated that I already realzied this... But I have never been able to openly talk about our so called unexplained infertility until now... And I am sharing the story with you.
Thanks for sharing this. We had a hard time getting pregnant with Wyatt - it took 11 months for my body to straighten out after birth control, so I know how hard it can be. But your attitude is great, and you're right - it''l happen in the Lord's time! Praying for you.
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