That right there^^^ is the reaction I have been having to a lot of things. I keep going through momentary spazzes of anxiety and then calm.
Anxiety because I have an OBGYN appointment coming up and I know that this appointment means being referred to a specialist and new tests and new meds. Calm because I know that God has control now and i really just need to take a darn chillpill. Its scary though. And I can't lie, I am terrified.
Why? If God has it then why worry? Why stress? Why be fearful? Because thats what we simple humans do! we freak out! Duh! I know that whatever is supposed to happen will. That doesn't mean I am not scared. And you wanna know my biggest fear?? THAT GODS TIMING WONT MATCH MINE! Yea read that and re-read that. Let it simmer... I'm being selfish! I'm being impatient!
But its hard not to. I keep praying that I will be able to relax and be at peace with this whole thing. It is hard though. I'm not perfect. I just need to let it go. When God wants us to have a baby we will have a baby.
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~XoXo~